Growing Up

I hated the whole social aspect of growing up. I am reminded of that every time I watch my kids struggle with that very thing. My oldest is a very laid back, easy-go-lucky kind of kid, but he is lacking in confidence. My daughter is full of confidence, but it is fragile. Any hint of negativity and she is sent into a tailspin. My youngest has not these issues...Yet.

I understand my daughter better than most. I had a difficult time keeping friends while I was growing up. I think I tried too hard, or something like that. Then, I didn't try at all. It seems the friends that stuck were the ones just like me. We were the girls who could go the entire lunch hour without uttering a sound, or we were the loudest in the cafeteria! We didn't spend much time together outside of school. We can now go years without talking, but not feel like any time has passed the next time we talk. Now that I'm an adult, my friendships seem to stick better, but they are still of the nature that we don't talk or hang out much outside of church or church related activities.

My daughter is in her fragile state right now. She questions her friendships, even ones that are nearly as old as she is! She worries they don't want to be her friends any more. There are other girls who, unfortunately, and unknowingly, feed this fragility. My normally confident little girl is reduced to tears and worry. I hate that for her! I hate that this is a part of life, a part of being a girl, a part of growing up. I wish there was an easier way for her to learn that people come and go in our lives, according to the purpose they are supposed to fulfill. Sometimes, friendships fade away. And that is okay. I wish she could learn it in a way that didn't hurt her. I want to protect her from pain. I can't. It's what will make her strong; and, ultimately, a better person.

Kids and Trampolines don't always mix!

My kids love to jump on our Olympic style trampoline. It is rectangle and really bouncy. They have learned to do many tricks, double bounce each other, and flips. They've gotten pretty good. Yesterday, around 6:45 or so, Marti did her front flip. She's really very good at landing them. This time was no exception. Unfortunately, when she took a step back, she was too close to the edge. She fell. One of the teenagers from down the street held her, while another teen came to find me. They thought she just knocked the wind out of herself. But then, she screamed. I came walking around the corner, looked at her wrist, and knew it was broke. We rushed to the ER, they did their thing, and sure enough, she broke it right in front of the growth plate. That's a good thing. The doc said it would heal itself within 4 weeks. She's in a plaster cast, her dad and I have already signed it. Did I mention the first day of school my youngest, Toby, feel on the play ground and I had to go get him, take him to the doctor to make sure he didn't need stitches? Yeah, my oldest is going to be wrapped in bubble wrap for about 2 or 3 weeks!

Marriage

As of May 27, 2008, Tim and I have been married for 13 years. We have had some bumps, hills, and valleys along the way. No one really took the time to tell me before-hand how hard it would be at times. From the time you fall in love to becoming engaged and planning a wedding, you never think, "This is gonna be hard work!" No, you think everything is going to be wonderful. You make your plans together, map out your entire lives, when to have kids, where your career is headed. You have everything planned out. Then, life hits. Kids came earlier than expected for us. We wanted to wait for 5 years or so. God seemed to have other plans: 6 months after saying "I do." Yeah, I was pregnant with our first child only 6 months into the marriage. Yikes! What now? Things were still somewhat blissful at that point, so we managed. But then, he hated his job. We had been struggling financially from the git-go. We were fighting a lot. My parents NEVER fought. I would add "in front of us kids," but my dad says never. I think it's because mom holds it all in. Tim's parents fight in front of their kids. They work it out. I think this is more healthy. Conflict resolution is learned this way. When Tim and I started fighting, I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life! But we had a kid, and I had promised him "till death do us part." So I stuck it out. For about 4 years, we seemed to fight more often than not. Don't get me wrong, we had some good times, too. And I still loved him very much. I was a stay at home mom of two kids, he worked in telecommunications as a sales rep. He HATED his job. Then, in August of 1999, we started attending church at First Christian Church of Owasso. We loved it there. Actually, the kids, my friend Michelle and I loved it there. We dragged Tim there. This is a guy who grew up not only in church, but also in the ministry. I didn't grow up in church at all. And now, I'M dragging HIM to church? But drag I did. Exactly one year later, the same church decided to hire him as the associate youth minister. He took a pay cut to take this job. But we both agreed it was a better fit for him. WOW, am I ever so glad we made that move. Things turned around for us over night. Our marriage, while not "perfect," is 1,000 times better now. Our finances are better, and our parental skills are improving each day (and with three kids, that's important!). All thanks and glory to God. I am more madly in love with Tim than I have ever been, and it grows each day. I know he feels the same about me. Our life together, with all the lows and highs, is amazing. A true gift from God.