Memories

I have so many memories flooding my brain these days. Some are from Christmas seasons when I was growing up. Like how on Christmas Eve, we would go to my grandma's and have dinner (always sloppy joes and chips) and exchange gifts with everyone there. Then we would go home, mom and dad would spend hours in the kitchen making pies, cakes, candies, dressing, and anything else they could come up with while I watched "A Christmas Carol" in the living room, enjoying the reasonably quiet atmosphere. It was always deceivingly calm.

Other memories are of mine and Tim's first Christmas' together. We had so little, yet somehow still managed to make those years special. Our second Christmas after we were married was especially difficult. Buddy was only 4 months old. We were only able to afford to buy him one gift! I bought Tim a coffee mug with candy in it. Tim bought me a coffee maker with an espresso maker. I remember crying because there was no way we could afford it, yet he thought of the perfect gift for me, and made it work. He woke me up very early with Michael W. Smith's Christmas album. I got up, got the baby, and went into the living room. We laid on the floor next to the tree and just enjoyed being together, our little family. It is a precious memory.

Other memories aren't of Christmas at all. They are of my Jr. High days. Why are these memories flooding me? Because I had the opportunity today to spend some time with one of my best friends from that time of my life. We spent countless nights at each others houses laughing, playing games, listening to music, and arguing over who was cuter: Joey or Danny (New Kids on the Block)! We had so much fun together. One of my biggest regrets is not keeping that friendship alive once we hit high school. But we have recently revived that old friendship, and I am so very happy about that. We haven't changed much over the years. She said it best: We are stronger and more responsible, but basically the same person. While a lot of things about me have changed, she's right about my basic beliefs, which have not changed.

So here's to memories, both the old and the new ones that have not yet occurred.

Marriage

As of May 27, 2008, Tim and I have been married for 13 years. We have had some bumps, hills, and valleys along the way. No one really took the time to tell me before-hand how hard it would be at times. From the time you fall in love to becoming engaged and planning a wedding, you never think, "This is gonna be hard work!" No, you think everything is going to be wonderful. You make your plans together, map out your entire lives, when to have kids, where your career is headed. You have everything planned out. Then, life hits. Kids came earlier than expected for us. We wanted to wait for 5 years or so. God seemed to have other plans: 6 months after saying "I do." Yeah, I was pregnant with our first child only 6 months into the marriage. Yikes! What now? Things were still somewhat blissful at that point, so we managed. But then, he hated his job. We had been struggling financially from the git-go. We were fighting a lot. My parents NEVER fought. I would add "in front of us kids," but my dad says never. I think it's because mom holds it all in. Tim's parents fight in front of their kids. They work it out. I think this is more healthy. Conflict resolution is learned this way. When Tim and I started fighting, I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life! But we had a kid, and I had promised him "till death do us part." So I stuck it out. For about 4 years, we seemed to fight more often than not. Don't get me wrong, we had some good times, too. And I still loved him very much. I was a stay at home mom of two kids, he worked in telecommunications as a sales rep. He HATED his job. Then, in August of 1999, we started attending church at First Christian Church of Owasso. We loved it there. Actually, the kids, my friend Michelle and I loved it there. We dragged Tim there. This is a guy who grew up not only in church, but also in the ministry. I didn't grow up in church at all. And now, I'M dragging HIM to church? But drag I did. Exactly one year later, the same church decided to hire him as the associate youth minister. He took a pay cut to take this job. But we both agreed it was a better fit for him. WOW, am I ever so glad we made that move. Things turned around for us over night. Our marriage, while not "perfect," is 1,000 times better now. Our finances are better, and our parental skills are improving each day (and with three kids, that's important!). All thanks and glory to God. I am more madly in love with Tim than I have ever been, and it grows each day. I know he feels the same about me. Our life together, with all the lows and highs, is amazing. A true gift from God.