Growing Up

I hated the whole social aspect of growing up. I am reminded of that every time I watch my kids struggle with that very thing. My oldest is a very laid back, easy-go-lucky kind of kid, but he is lacking in confidence. My daughter is full of confidence, but it is fragile. Any hint of negativity and she is sent into a tailspin. My youngest has not these issues...Yet.

I understand my daughter better than most. I had a difficult time keeping friends while I was growing up. I think I tried too hard, or something like that. Then, I didn't try at all. It seems the friends that stuck were the ones just like me. We were the girls who could go the entire lunch hour without uttering a sound, or we were the loudest in the cafeteria! We didn't spend much time together outside of school. We can now go years without talking, but not feel like any time has passed the next time we talk. Now that I'm an adult, my friendships seem to stick better, but they are still of the nature that we don't talk or hang out much outside of church or church related activities.

My daughter is in her fragile state right now. She questions her friendships, even ones that are nearly as old as she is! She worries they don't want to be her friends any more. There are other girls who, unfortunately, and unknowingly, feed this fragility. My normally confident little girl is reduced to tears and worry. I hate that for her! I hate that this is a part of life, a part of being a girl, a part of growing up. I wish there was an easier way for her to learn that people come and go in our lives, according to the purpose they are supposed to fulfill. Sometimes, friendships fade away. And that is okay. I wish she could learn it in a way that didn't hurt her. I want to protect her from pain. I can't. It's what will make her strong; and, ultimately, a better person.