Memories

I have so many memories flooding my brain these days. Some are from Christmas seasons when I was growing up. Like how on Christmas Eve, we would go to my grandma's and have dinner (always sloppy joes and chips) and exchange gifts with everyone there. Then we would go home, mom and dad would spend hours in the kitchen making pies, cakes, candies, dressing, and anything else they could come up with while I watched "A Christmas Carol" in the living room, enjoying the reasonably quiet atmosphere. It was always deceivingly calm.

Other memories are of mine and Tim's first Christmas' together. We had so little, yet somehow still managed to make those years special. Our second Christmas after we were married was especially difficult. Buddy was only 4 months old. We were only able to afford to buy him one gift! I bought Tim a coffee mug with candy in it. Tim bought me a coffee maker with an espresso maker. I remember crying because there was no way we could afford it, yet he thought of the perfect gift for me, and made it work. He woke me up very early with Michael W. Smith's Christmas album. I got up, got the baby, and went into the living room. We laid on the floor next to the tree and just enjoyed being together, our little family. It is a precious memory.

Other memories aren't of Christmas at all. They are of my Jr. High days. Why are these memories flooding me? Because I had the opportunity today to spend some time with one of my best friends from that time of my life. We spent countless nights at each others houses laughing, playing games, listening to music, and arguing over who was cuter: Joey or Danny (New Kids on the Block)! We had so much fun together. One of my biggest regrets is not keeping that friendship alive once we hit high school. But we have recently revived that old friendship, and I am so very happy about that. We haven't changed much over the years. She said it best: We are stronger and more responsible, but basically the same person. While a lot of things about me have changed, she's right about my basic beliefs, which have not changed.

So here's to memories, both the old and the new ones that have not yet occurred.

Growing Up

I hated the whole social aspect of growing up. I am reminded of that every time I watch my kids struggle with that very thing. My oldest is a very laid back, easy-go-lucky kind of kid, but he is lacking in confidence. My daughter is full of confidence, but it is fragile. Any hint of negativity and she is sent into a tailspin. My youngest has not these issues...Yet.

I understand my daughter better than most. I had a difficult time keeping friends while I was growing up. I think I tried too hard, or something like that. Then, I didn't try at all. It seems the friends that stuck were the ones just like me. We were the girls who could go the entire lunch hour without uttering a sound, or we were the loudest in the cafeteria! We didn't spend much time together outside of school. We can now go years without talking, but not feel like any time has passed the next time we talk. Now that I'm an adult, my friendships seem to stick better, but they are still of the nature that we don't talk or hang out much outside of church or church related activities.

My daughter is in her fragile state right now. She questions her friendships, even ones that are nearly as old as she is! She worries they don't want to be her friends any more. There are other girls who, unfortunately, and unknowingly, feed this fragility. My normally confident little girl is reduced to tears and worry. I hate that for her! I hate that this is a part of life, a part of being a girl, a part of growing up. I wish there was an easier way for her to learn that people come and go in our lives, according to the purpose they are supposed to fulfill. Sometimes, friendships fade away. And that is okay. I wish she could learn it in a way that didn't hurt her. I want to protect her from pain. I can't. It's what will make her strong; and, ultimately, a better person.

WOW!

So, I have the most amazing husband ever! For a guy who dislikes everything that has to do with country music, he did pretty good!
Brother Trouble, Miranda Lambert, and Kenny Chesney! All amazing!

Kids and Trampolines don't always mix!

My kids love to jump on our Olympic style trampoline. It is rectangle and really bouncy. They have learned to do many tricks, double bounce each other, and flips. They've gotten pretty good. Yesterday, around 6:45 or so, Marti did her front flip. She's really very good at landing them. This time was no exception. Unfortunately, when she took a step back, she was too close to the edge. She fell. One of the teenagers from down the street held her, while another teen came to find me. They thought she just knocked the wind out of herself. But then, she screamed. I came walking around the corner, looked at her wrist, and knew it was broke. We rushed to the ER, they did their thing, and sure enough, she broke it right in front of the growth plate. That's a good thing. The doc said it would heal itself within 4 weeks. She's in a plaster cast, her dad and I have already signed it. Did I mention the first day of school my youngest, Toby, feel on the play ground and I had to go get him, take him to the doctor to make sure he didn't need stitches? Yeah, my oldest is going to be wrapped in bubble wrap for about 2 or 3 weeks!

Growing Up

As a kid, I can remember not being able to wait until I was an adult and could make the rules myself! And there are parts of it I actually do enjoy. I love love love being a mom. I enjoy being married, having someone with flesh to lean on. I love my job, my role as a minister's wife, and I mostly enjoy being a daughter-in-law.

What I DON'T like is watching my parents declining health. My dad has too many medical issues to get into. My mom has been relatively healthy most of her life. She's had a few surgeries over her lifetime, but nothing drastic. So yesterday, when my dad called to tell me they had taken her to Bailey Medical here in Owasso by ambulance, I was shocked. Chest and back pain. Come to find out, she's been having anxiety attacks, numbness in the left arm, and pain in and around the "female" region. She's been ignoring her symptoms for awhile now. The ER doc asked if she was willing to stay overnight for observation, and then testing for cardiac complications in the morning. She hesitated, and I jumped in. "YES! She is willing!" Her and my dad just looked at each other and then at me. "I want to know what's wrong! Don't you!?" Yes, of course they did. So she stayed.

I'm the oldest kid. It's so strange that they are looking to me. It's stranger still that her brother's are calling me for updates, and not calling my dad. I don't know that I'm ready for this new responsibility. I will take care of my mom when I am able and when she is willing. But selfishly, I am raising my own family. Do I have time for this? I know she will be okay. They are going find out what's wrong, medicate her properly and send her home to rest. This is just a warning sign to her, and a glimpse of what's to come for me I suppose.

Family Fun

Today was an awesome day for the Tibbles' family. We have all been so busy, and going in different directions for so long. Since we couldn't afford to go on a real (or even mini) vacation, I decided a day trip was in high order!

I remember many summers growing up when my family would go to local state parks here in Oklahoma, my favorite being Woolaroc. So I found Woolaroc online and told the hubby he would take the day off on Friday, August 1st because, "We are going on a field trip!" And we did.

I packed the cooler and a basket with a great lunch of sandwiches, chips and cookies, mini cans and bottles of soda, juice pouches and water. It was wonderful, and everyone had a great time! The picture is in the lookout tower on top of one of the buildings.

If you live in Oklahoma and have never been to Woolaroc, you NEED TO GO! woolaroc.org Check it out! Some of my other childhood favorites are the Phillips 66 museum and mansion in Bartlesville and Will Rogers birth place in Claremore. All these are related in time to the oil boom. Actually, Phillips 66 is the same Frank Phillips who created Woolaroc!

What are some of your favorite day trips? And if you don't have any, create some! It's a wonderful way to build your family connectivity!

Prayer requests and other things

1) My sister-in-law is 4 months pregnant. Most would think she is out of the danger zone. We all did. But then something happened on Saturday that made her go to the hospital. She has placenta previa. This is when the placenta forms in the wrong spot. I may be over-simplifying this, but that's what I do! I AM a mom and preschool teacher after all! Anyway, the baby is doing wonderful and has a strong heart beat. Alisha on the other hand is on 80% bed rest. Her husband, Jeremy, says that isn't good enough, 100% bed rest. Only getting up to use the restroom. I just can't imagine how she must be feeling. My prayer is that she would be safe through this pregnancy, not bleed too much, and is able to make it to term, which is late January.

2) This one is more tricky. I don't want to say too much on this matter, but suffice it to say that Tim and I have a few different friends whose spouses have chosen to leave for whatever reason. Infidelity has been a part of this. Please pray for our friends to make it through this very hard time. In two cases, the spouse who cheated wants out, and the victim wants to work things out. My heart is breaking for these friends.

Tim and I continue to be blessed. God is so good to us.

We are very ready for school to start. The kids are starting to fight more regularly, and they are incredibly whinny. I keep saying I can't take any more! So I guess you can add me to that prayer request list, that I keep my sanity over the next two weeks! Yes, I said two weeks, we start school on August 13! Yippee!!!!

Mini-Vacation Planning

Ok, so I think we are going to have a family mini-vacation to Oklahoma City. I have spent the better part of 2 hours researching attractions and hotels for said trip.

Steve, if you are reading this, HELP! I have some great ideas, but I would like to do something that doesn't cost a lot of money, but will still hold my kids attention for more than 5 minutes!

What are some of your favorite mini-vacations?

Drama

When in the context of a movie, a play, or a skit, I really like drama. Escape from reality is a welcome thing. That's why I love to read. I can forget about the world around me for a time. Real life drama, on the other hand, is not so welcome. Whether it is my drama, my kid's, or someone else's, I don't like this kind of drama. It's draining. It's unpleasant. It is a part of life I would like to skip all together.

I have had a friend tell me that she just doesn't allow drama. How do you not allow drama? It's so ingrained into today's society. Jealousy, exploding anger, over reacting to hurt feelings and disappointments. All drama. I don't like to deal with my own reactions to things. I, like the vast majority of this country, want to blame someone else. "If she hadn't ________, I wouldn't have _________. It's HER fault!"

We have a lot of kids in our new neighborhood. Part of me really loves this, and another part doesn't. They don't all get along, or they get jealous of time spent with another. My kids included. This causes drama to the nth degree. I have been trying to teach my kids they can only control themselves.

The truth is, we have to learn to accept personal responsibility. It's probably true that if she hadn't __________, I wouldn't have __________, but is that really the point? No. I can't control what someone else says or does, I CAN control how I respond. Or I can walk away. Or count to ten. Or pray! Novel idea.

Drama drama drama...How do you deal with drama in your life?

CO or Bust

Every summer for the past 8 years, Tim &/or I have gone to Colorado with our youth group. We call it Youth Quake. There are 3 or 4 churches involved. I go as a sponsor. Tim goes to lead worship. Departure is always Friday night around 8 or 8:30, driving all night for 14 hours. The only stops made are for gas and the extra emergency "potty break." Saturday morning they will arrive in Denver and go have breakfast at the local Denney's or some such establishment. After that, they will continue on to the camp ground, pitch their tents, dig trenches around the tents, and get settled. Sunday is a leisure hang out kinda day. Monday or Tuesday they will white water raft which is SO much FUN! The other day they divide the church groups up, mix them up, and have "family" time so they can get to know the students from the other churches. Wednesday is Stress Day. It is named this because they will climb a mountain to a specified summit and have worship. It takes about 4 hours for me to make the climb, but I am incredibly out of shape! (It's more like a hike up instead of an actual climb.) Thursday they will go into Breckenridge for some good food and great shopping. Friday morning, they head home.

Every night they have "church." There is worship, a speaker, and youth group time. Tim is in charge of the worship. He takes a full band with him, complete with drums, bass, electric, and acoustic guitar. This is the same band he takes with him when he does church camp worship. They are an amazing group of young men who are on fire for the Lord. I love each of them for various reasons! But most of all, they are such an encouragement to my husband.

This is Tim's last summer to do any camps and Youth Quake as the worship leader. In the future he will be going as a dad. I think that is so awesome. All his life, all he ever wanted was to have a wife and kids. I am so excited for him to be a daddy at church events! So few people at the church ever get to see him in that roll.

Please pray this week for Tim, Joe, Jared (our youth minister and the assistant ym), all the sponsors, and of course all the kids! It's an amazing experience being out in the mountains, God's untouched creation, and experience Him.

Love is a Choice, something you do...

Love. First Corinthians 13 4-8a describes it as follows:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

So how is it that so many of my friends are going to bed with everything in their marriage seemingly fine, and waking up in the morning to find their spouse no longer loves them and wanting a divorce? These are not "unchurched" people I'm describing. They have been in church for quite some time. I'm sure there were signs of discontent. Although, the actual stating "I have no feelings for you" or "I no longer love you" is a shock, no matter the warning signs. Just this last month, I have two friends that this has happened to. It makes me so sad, and angry with the spouse who has "changed his/her mind." What happened to the promises made in the wedding vows? You know the ones...In sickness and in health, for poorer and for richer, till death do we part? Have we forgotten that love is not an emotion or a feeling, but a choice? I choose everyday to love my husband, and the butterfly feeling in the tummy follows. It doesn't happen the other way around! We need to pray diligently for our families. Our marriages are under attack. I, for one, don't want to see Satan even think he has a chance of winning this battle!

Kids...

I mentioned in my last post that we got pregnant sooner than we intended. What a scary, crazy, incredible blessing Timothy Neal Tibbles II, aka Buddy, has been in our life. He is almost 12, going into Junior High this August. He is named after his daddy, loves basketball like his daddy, and looks a lot like me. He was baptized last summer at church camp. Oh so proud of my "little man" as I have called him since birth. He tried out for band this past spring. He is going to play trumpet in the 6th grade band. So now I get to hear him blowing his horn around the house practicing whatever "new" song they are supposed to learn. I am not one who likes a lot of noise in the house. This is going to really stretch the patience I always seem to be lacking. He is very laid back, come what may. That is, until he gets mad at one of his siblings! He is a typical oldest child who knows nearly everything about everything, and wants you to know it.

Martha Nadine, aka Marti, came along just 19 short months after her big brother. She is 10 1/2, going into the 4th grade. I absolutely love having a girl. She and I are the best of friends. I used to think that she looked like Tim and his side of the family. But the older she gets, the more she looks like me. She loves to dance, and her teacher tells me she is really talented. I say "her teacher tells me" because OF COURSE I think she is talented, but it has more credit coming from her teacher! She just finished up her 3rd year of dancing at a studio here in Owasso. She does tap, jazz, and ballet. Next year she is going to add lyrical. She wants to try out for the competitive group next spring.

Last is Tobias Nathaniel, aka Toby or Tobs. He is 6 1/2, going into the 1st grade. Toby hasn't found his perfect sport/hobby as of yet. He has played soccer for the last two years. He seems to have enjoyed it somewhat, but he's ready to move on to the next thing. He wants to try football next. Maybe through our local YMCA in the fall. We'll see. He's a pretty little guy, and I'm rather protective. Although, it might toughen him up some... Some words I have heard to describe him are crazy, wild, hyper, hard to handle, ADD... I tend to only half agree. He just loves life. And enjoys it to the fullest. And I find it hard to believe there is anything wrong with that. He is definitely a typical youngest child, begrudging the older two their freedoms and privileges. He is often heard saying things like, "I wish I was the oldest." Poor kid. I can't relate. I AM the oldest, as is Tim.

Awww, children. I love and adore mine immensely. They also drive me completely bonkers sometimes! But I love what my husband says about his feelings of having kids. It teaches us something about the love of God for His children. No matter what my kids do or say, I never stop loving them, or forgiving them. Even if it is the same thing they keep doing over and over and over again. It also makes me appreciate more the sacrifice He made in giving up His only child. I don't know if I could let MY son die on a cross for a hypocritical, adulterous, and traitorous people. And yet, our heavenly Father did just that. Amazing. No matter the sin, no matter the multiple times I commit said sin, I am forgiven. He loves me more than I love my own kids. Wow, what a revelation.

Marriage

As of May 27, 2008, Tim and I have been married for 13 years. We have had some bumps, hills, and valleys along the way. No one really took the time to tell me before-hand how hard it would be at times. From the time you fall in love to becoming engaged and planning a wedding, you never think, "This is gonna be hard work!" No, you think everything is going to be wonderful. You make your plans together, map out your entire lives, when to have kids, where your career is headed. You have everything planned out. Then, life hits. Kids came earlier than expected for us. We wanted to wait for 5 years or so. God seemed to have other plans: 6 months after saying "I do." Yeah, I was pregnant with our first child only 6 months into the marriage. Yikes! What now? Things were still somewhat blissful at that point, so we managed. But then, he hated his job. We had been struggling financially from the git-go. We were fighting a lot. My parents NEVER fought. I would add "in front of us kids," but my dad says never. I think it's because mom holds it all in. Tim's parents fight in front of their kids. They work it out. I think this is more healthy. Conflict resolution is learned this way. When Tim and I started fighting, I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life! But we had a kid, and I had promised him "till death do us part." So I stuck it out. For about 4 years, we seemed to fight more often than not. Don't get me wrong, we had some good times, too. And I still loved him very much. I was a stay at home mom of two kids, he worked in telecommunications as a sales rep. He HATED his job. Then, in August of 1999, we started attending church at First Christian Church of Owasso. We loved it there. Actually, the kids, my friend Michelle and I loved it there. We dragged Tim there. This is a guy who grew up not only in church, but also in the ministry. I didn't grow up in church at all. And now, I'M dragging HIM to church? But drag I did. Exactly one year later, the same church decided to hire him as the associate youth minister. He took a pay cut to take this job. But we both agreed it was a better fit for him. WOW, am I ever so glad we made that move. Things turned around for us over night. Our marriage, while not "perfect," is 1,000 times better now. Our finances are better, and our parental skills are improving each day (and with three kids, that's important!). All thanks and glory to God. I am more madly in love with Tim than I have ever been, and it grows each day. I know he feels the same about me. Our life together, with all the lows and highs, is amazing. A true gift from God.

Blogging...

My first blog...My husband has said he needs to get me blogging. I blew him off. Then I thought about it. Hmmm, this may be some good therapy for me. My blog will probably be less about my life as a ministry wife, and more just about my life, my struggles, and my blessings, what's going on in my life, and my thoughts on whatever strikes me. I don't know who all will read it. But is that the point? Probably not. Just getting my thoughts out of my head will be wonderful therapy. So bear with me, whoever you are. This could be interesting, or incredibly boring! But which ever it is, it will be me.